Some more Love stuff!

I chanced upon both of these ideas during the same morning and I think they sit nicely together. And they make me wonder...

The first....
We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven't even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is suppose to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you'll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there's still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real- but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they're often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.
-Chuck Klosterman

And the second....
From Eat, Pray, Love..

"Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it."

... so how do we know when we are done peeling away layers? How do we know when we've arrived at the layer we want to stay at? And how do we differentiate this kind of a soulmate from someone more lasting? And why can't a soulmate be the one who sticks around? You know what I think? I think people should come with labels! Then when you meet one of these soulmates you'll know what he/she is and you won't have to get your heart broken going through the tedious process of falling in love and building up a relationship only to see it crash and burn because this person's function was only to peel away another layer and not stick around. And maybe we should also have a "layer label" that warns people what layer we're on. So, like, if you've been totally stripped of all the baggage that needs stripping then you'd have one that said something like "Good to go!" or if you'd never had anyone chip away at you you'd have something like "Has barely scratched the surface!"

Then life would be less tricky and more methodical.. the way it should be! That's sort of a joke.. I like figuring it out. But it's also annoying sometimes. Like when someone tells you a really simple riddle that they know the answer to and you rack your brain trying to figure it out and they keep saying "it's so simple! it's so simple!" and you're like "shut up I can't figure it out!" and then when you do finally figure it out it really does seem so simple, but only in retrospect... that's kinda how life is. And you can either get pissed off at this inevitable reality or laugh at the process of life unfolding before your very eyes. It's cool that we can choose. I'll take the second option please.

I wonder what you think...