Soul Searching

I was going to name my blog "LifeInBalance" because I think that balance is the key to success in life, but I realized that this is just one song that my soul wants to sing about. Equating balance with success is subjective. It is an ideal that I believe in, but that others might not. And in order to discover, write about, and defend such ideals, we have to do some soul searching and listen to our own songs. So MusicofMySoul it is.

I love balance. I love balance in all its forms; literally, metaphorically, psychologically, physically, spiritually, sexually, meteorologically =). Which explains why I love gymnastics and contortionism so much; because it is one big, blatantly literal metaphor for living a balanced life. Note that gymnastics can also be practiced dangerously, something I've experienced first hand and a song I'll sing about later!
Anyway, I don't think we can rely on faith if we don't supplement it with science. You can pray as much as you want, but at the end of the day you still have to wash your hands to prevent disease. Although faith is definitely my explanatory preference =). You can't plant a garden without then enjoying all the plants that have flourished there. You can't enjoy an icecream sunday if you don't supplement your diet with real, nutritious food. You can't appreciate the sacredness of sex if you are having it constantly. You can't know joy if you don't know sorrow too (they are both great friends of mine and I've discovered I love them equally). You can't appreciate silence if you haven't been down a NYC subway. That's right, the subway is the only place where loudness exists =).

Dr. Seuss: "Life is a Great, Big Balancing Act."

The only phenomenon that I don't think the principle of balance applies to is Love (which is the greatest thing... better than faith and hope even =) )! Passion tempered with reason is good, but I believe that once you find real, true love you should pursue it with reckless abandon and fight for it with unrestrained passion, even if it lets you down, because if it's real, it will ALWAYS prevail.

I think that childhood is sacred. I think that life is a series of lines that are unfortunate, yet necessary, and can be overwritten(erased?) with love. I think that spiritual affinity will result in lasting, meaningful, powerful, soulful relationships. I think that childhood is sacred because children have not yet been introduced to lines and do not yet know that impossibilities exist.
Love, innocence, giving, sharing, selflessness, prayer, meditation, family, marriage, children. All of these are sacred.

i think that this first blog is necessarily egotistical because all of the subsequent blogs will be subject to opinions that stem from who I am and what I believe and thus it is necessary to establish what that is exactly.

Interests: love when it is not masquerading as lust, discovering when love is masquerading as lust, practicing spiritual discernment, remembering that EVERYONE has something to offer, gymnastics, dance, other nonverbal forms of communication, soul-searching, metacognition, religion, not complaining about trivial things, remembering that trivial things are subjective, learning so that I can understand myself and strive for perfection, living to serve, subcategories of living to serve: working out and eating healthy so that I can be fully present, aware, and in tune with the needs of others, getting an education so that I can solve life's bigger problems rationally, intelligently, justly. etc.etc. , developing empathy (It's much better than sympathy!) , not developing apathy, writing, walking a mile in another man's shoes, then remembering to put my own back on (I always remember , but sometimes it takes me a while), not being afraid, humor (the state of laughter compeletely eliminates the state of fear), self-love as a force that spawns reciprocal love.
striving to live in the likeness of God, constantly failing to do so, realizing that i am constantly failing to do so and then reaffirming that i want to =).
naturally occuring phenomenons.
every single subject in school.

I've also discovered that I have an obsession with loving people who don't love me back, trying to expose them to love, sometimes failing, sometimes succeeding. I don't know why. But it has confused people who really love me and caused they and I great pain.

I've also discovered that what I REALLY believe in, what I REALLY consider to be sacred and the truths that I REALLY hold near and dear come out better and more honestly in my writing.

Occupation: daughter, sister, friend, sinner, lover, fighter, gymnast, student, Orthodox Christian...not in this order... there's more.

Liberalism in the press... it maintains that the truth will prevail only when tested against counter-opinions, sayings, ideals etc and that opinions, however contrary to the truth they might be, must not be suppressed because there might be an iota of truth in each one that might lead to the greater Truth with a capital T if there is such a thing.

Finding beauty in everything, no matter how ugly it is perceived to be.


Quotes/stories/people/events/things/etc. that I eventually want to blog about:

Tom - my angel - personification of spiritual perfection.
Let Love Draw the Line - Alex Grey - great way to think about the world.
Anyway - Mother Theresa -great poem to live by.
The Hero with a Thousand Faces - about inner soul-searching, the truth being within "the heart of the hero(us)" the entire time - completely necessary.
The Nichomachean Ethics - gets to the core of balance. "everything in moderation, including moderation."
Bartholamew (sp?) Cubbins The Man of Many Hats - Dr. Seuss - because there is a little of him in ALL of us and becuase I see a lot of him in me.
1 Corinthians 13:13
"just because it is your right to do it, doesn't mean it is the right thing to do" - my Aunt Mary (who generously passed it down to me)
"If you want to write a story about the nutritional benefits of Steak, then you can find someone who will say that Steak is good for you." Aunt Judie (so true - future blog about convictions).
Fear and how paralyzing it is.

the rest of the poems/quotes/stories from my beautiful yoga class.... http://www.yogatothepeople.com/stories.html


The goal of this journal is to present myself and toil with concepts that I deem relevant, those of which might not be relevant to other people, through writing. Sometimes i am going to be in a thoughtful, honest mood, like now. Sometimes I am going to be in an exuberant state of unrequited passion, sometimes a cynical one, sometimes a funny one, a serious one, etc.etc.etc.

groovy.

<3