Rooms

I'm going to base this moment on who I'm stuck in a room with. That's what life is. It's a series of rooms, and who we get stuck in those rooms with, adds up to what our lives are.


I've never been more convinced of the veracity in this dictum. Traveling and experiencing new cultures comprised of a plethora of diverse personalities all united under some common understanding, under some unique vibe that echoes throughout their words, actions, thoughts, and understandings reveals this ... and discovering what that vibe is, what makes seemingly inimical individuals jive may be the ultimate puzzle.. and figuring out how you want to carve your own edges to make your own self fit into the puzzle is where life begins.. and all of the different ways we carve our edges in order to fit into the puzzles that comprise our lives is ultimately who we are.. and the coalescence of all of the different vibes reverberating off of each other creates the abstract mortal energy that structures our world.


So then when we enter into new situations, new "rooms," is it really about being yourself, or is it about finding the vibe, reinventing yourself in light of the vibe, and acting accordingly? Maybe all of the different situations, experiences, adventures we get ourselves into are not just different ways to experience ourselves, but rather things that merely serve a didactic function, namely to expose us to the ultimate truth that there is no one vibe, and thats the fun in life; trying to fit in in light of the different vibes that comprise our lives. 


When I went to my brother's graduation this weekend we had a picnic at his fraternity. The way the frat brothers talked about each other to parents or introduced each other was totally predictable. "Oh so-and-so, he's a spectacular guy. Probably the best such-and-such I've ever seen. He's going on to (insert accomplishment here) and he's going to be incredibly successful."  Totally positive and complimentary all the way. That was just the vibe. And to outsiders it looks as if these are the nicest guys on the planet. And don't get me wrong, they were great guys, but they were also wise to the vibe, respectful of it, and totally subservient to it. And this is just one instance of many... Everything has a vibe, an energy, a raison d'etre driving it forward. Everything is puzzling, alive, essentially predictable once you figure out why. 


Ironically, predictability seems to have inherited a bad reputation. The minute we discover that something, some person, some way of being is predictable, the minute that we discover how we can manipulate, excite, entertain, or make a person or group feel a certain way we become disenchanted, disillusioned, bored, or even repulsed. So we look elsewhere for excitement, newness, unpredictability. But at other times we crave predictability, something reliable, something constant......


So what I'm wondering is if the way we talk about each other, the things we say, the way we are, the things we do when we are in these environments, when we become wise to the vibe, are completely empty, just different ways for us to fit in. From the inside.. unifying, instructive, disingenuine, ways to different between us and them. From the outside.. spectacular, genuine, and fresh. So in terms of these different subcultures, are there such things as better or worse? I mean positive energy does breed positive results right? But negative energy can also be unifying. And if it is closeness, understanding, empathy, connection that we seek, then does the type of energy really matter? Or is it all just energy... 

Life Circles

The act of questioning is also the act of exclusion, of growing ever more distant from the norms or common denominators that unite communities and people. It is a tricky decision, whether to pursue the light of truth and expansion of mind or resign oneself to the comfort of community and connection. This is the circular route I see my life taking constantly...


moments of bliss ~~~> moments of existential wonderment~~~> moments of despair ~~~~> neutrality ~~~> moments of bliss~~~~~> moments of existential wonderment ~~~~> moments of despair ~~~~> neutrality ~~~> moments of bliss (ego on joyride) ~~~~> moments of existential wonderment (why am I here? who am I) ~~~~> moments of despair (I am no one, who cares) ~~~~~> neutral zone ("conclusive" state of being as determined by this ongoing process).


... sometimes the states of existentialism and despair are reversed... but for the most part...


bliss ~> existentialism ~> despair ~> neutrality. 


What makes me happy is being able to identify this trajectory. Knowing before hand that a high will not last forever, that a great adventure like doing a play or dancing or whatever it is that gives you that high will ultimately not last forever, that it will ultimately transpire into existential meanderings that then more often than not lead to despair because they remind you of the answer to the exact question that they seek to answer (will this high last forever? is this IT? have I found my PLACE? answer = no), and then descending into a state of neutrality, of peacefulness, of neither happiness nor sadness, of just simply being, ...... (this might not be a coherent sentence hahaha).... the fact that I have come to a point in my life, that I have lived long enough and been attentive enough to be able to determine that this is LIFE, this is the circular process that we (I?) go through, gives me hope, happiness, makes me joyful...it essentially keeps me going. 


The seeking is better than the sought.
-cirque du soleil

People...

Love means in general terms the consciousness of my unity with another, so 

that I am not in selfish isolation but win my self-consciousness only as the 

renunciation of my independence and through knowing myself as the unity 

of myself with another and of the other with me.

(the nation and its fragments)

.... moreso than anything else, do not like feeling displaced. We create and perpetuate all of these crazy theories about human beings not liking to feel imprisoned (by a person, institution, place, emotion) or not enjoying abuse or other forms of "violence," but what they really despise more than anything else is not feeling like they have a place in the world, that they don't matter, that they are nobody or dead to the world or lonely. I'm thinking of the old man in the Shawshank redemption who, after being in prison for virtually his entire life, committed suicide once he was released. I am thinking of myself and how I can go from one lifestyle to the next (in love with school/learning, in love with a person, in love with God, in love with dance/movement, in love with reading, a book, family, blah blah blah...).... and be in love with all of them.... they all offer essentially the same thing... a chance for me/us/human beings to feel placed instead of displaced... to feel connected, to feel like we belong....

I didn't mean to throw God in there with everything else...

and then we die..

but in the meantime there are cool things we can do...
 like try and figure out what our "destiny" is.. and then realize that it is only our "destiny" because we had been bred, since childhood, for such...

or get married and share in the absurdities and perplexities of life with something/one that is constant...

or ....

Sermon

Sermon – Leila Noone

Throughout the course of our human lives, we encounter many different people from many different places. There are those who enter into our lives in passing, those whose memories linger long after they leave us, and those whose influence seems stay with us forever. We are inspired by so many different people; by movie stars and models and politicians and revolutionaries and athletes and intellectuals. We measure success and progress in so many different ways, according to so many different standards. Then, suddenly, we realize that we have been swept away by the rush of life.

We often forget that the most profound and inspiring things are often the messages that are right under our noses, that we need look no further than the little things that people in our own personal lives say to us as wellsprings of inspiration.  

My grandmother was a beautiful writer. Whenever she would give us grandchildren birthday cards or little notes or random letters, she would always sign them “don’t forget to say your prayers.” Even after she had passed away, we would find little notes and letters that she wrote, all ending with this simple reminder about the importance of prayer. I used to read them and think to myself “oh Nuna, you are so cute,” never fully realizing how profound this simple statement was, how truly powerful prayer can be. “Don’t forget to say your prayers.”

In today’s gospel, Jesus extricates a demon from a possessed boy. When his disciples ask him why they were not able to perform such a feat, He responds "This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer." He reminds us that “All things are possible to him who believes."

 Belief and prayer go hand in hand. When we pray, we are aligning our thoughts with something that we believe in, directing them towards a goal. Prayer, in essence, is a meditation driven by a belief in things-not-seen.

An Orthodox Monk described prayer in the following way:

 "The prayer of simplicity consists of placing yourself in the presence of God and maintaining yourself in His presence for a certain time, in an interior silence which is as complete as possible, while you concentrate on the divine Object, reduce to unity the multiplicity of your thoughts and feelings, and endeavor to 'keep yourself quiet' without words or arguments. It is not difficult...it is marvelously fruitful. It is like a welcome shower of rain falling on the garden of the soul. It gives a most powerful assistance to the efforts which we make in order to avoid sin and to accomplish the divine will."

Prayer and belief go hand in hand. My grandmother realized this when she signed each of her letters “don’t forget to say your prayers.” She in turn passed this message on to her own children. When my brother and I were growing up, my own mother told us never to get her presents during the holidays or for her birthday. Instead, she would ask us to write to her. One birthday, she had us write down our short term and long term goals and where we saw ourselves in 10 years. Today, I see my brother living out that same life path he had written down all those years ago, accomplishing the very things he wrote down on paper both academically and athletically at his university in California. Just as the act of prayer is precluded by the act of believing, so the act of describing precludes the act of creating. We can literally create ourselves into whatever we want to be simply by aligning our thoughts according to a predetermined goal. By praying about that which we believe, we can create our very own live paths and actualize the principles that God wishes us to live by. 

So I’d say the advice that my grandmother gave to me is worth internalizing. Forget your keys. Forget to eat. Forget your schedule. Forget the groceries. Forget your homework. Forget your bad days. Forget your good days. But don’t forget to say your prayers.   

love

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

we are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings immersed in a human experience. 



...now, what to do from this point of departure? 


::sigh::        oh life.

I have much to learn from you.

Martin Luther King Jr. Speech Contest - NYU

A Commitment to Satyagraha

I’d like to begin this speech by offering up a word that characterized Martin Luther King Jr’s struggle for justice;

Satyagraha.

 It is the philosophy and practice of nonviolent resistance. In its literal sense, it is a synthesis of two Sanskrit words; truth and insistence. In essence, Satyagraha is the steadfast pursuit of unconditional, agape Love of one’s friends as well as one’s enemies. It is a commitment to a form of Love that acknowledges the fallibility of man, yet remains committed to acknowledging his innate goodness. According to Martin Luther King Jr., using it as a form of protest against the evils and injustices that drive apart our world will ultimately redeem us.

Martin Luther King Jr, beyond being an advocate for the rights of Negroes, concerned himself with the cause of Love. He saw agape Love as the force that would drive the nation, the world, and the people that comprise it into peaceful harmony with one another. It is this idea of a peaceful, persistent struggle that formed the foundation upon which his fight for equality was built. And Love has the unique capacity to serve as a methodology that transcends national borders, historical time, and geographical space, making it just as powerful today as it was back in the mid-20^th century.

 Martin Luther King Jr. was not proposing that we shouldn’t have enemies. On the contrary, the friend-enemy duality is what humbles us, what reminds us that we are human, and what allows us to realize how important it is to remain steadfast in the ongoing struggle to pursue love.

What he was proposing was a commitment to this struggle. It is a struggle that both marks the infinite plight of man’s inhumanity to man and identifies the inextricable bond that we share as citizens of a global world. We are in conflict, because we are united.  

As a nation, we have made sweeping strides in the way of equality. Obama, more than being a black president, is a president whose appeal to “change” stands for all of us. In this sense, we have reached the point at which race has become secondary to the content of one’s character. The great majority of Americans agreed that change was necessary when they changed the way we thought about politics by voting the first African-American President into office. This change, in the Obama-esque sense of the word, begins at home. If we want to, as Martin Luther King’s mentor Ghandi says, “be the change we wish to see in the world,” then this is exactly what we must seek to do; live our personal lives according to the values that Martin Luther King espoused through his commitment to Satyagraha. Change begins with our own selves. “Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”

Today, we measure progress in economic terms. But there are other forms of progress too; moral and spiritual progress, cultural and social progress.  It is these forms of progress that Martin Luther King Jr. was concerned with. Today, they are still a concern. Progress must be made to be measured differently. Ethics and morality must increase exponentially with scientific and technological progress. Morality has to be fabricated as a form of measurable progress and as something indispensible to the lives of men.

According to Ghandi, “as human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world, as in being able to remake ourselves.” So who will we inspire to dream? Hopefully, and most importantly, ourselves. We can inspire our own selves to allow our dreams to rise to the rafters where they can sing songs of social equality and demand that morality and ethics be integrated into the curriculums of schools and reform movements the world over. 

We can inspire NGOs to realize that culture, religion, and rituals are not always signs of backwardness.

We can inspire developing countries to dream of pursuing democracy in a way that respects their heritage and contextualizes their struggle.

We can inspire our blossoming businessmen and economic reformers to pursue the ideal of equality in economics.

And most importantly, we can inspire each other to appreciate the humble fact that we cannot control the ebb and flow of life, that we must remain committed to Satyagraha as a means of protesting the infinite inequalities that mark our common humanity.  

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”